December 13, 2006
October 11, 2006
Ask me what I think of George Bush. Go on, ask me.
Via Lauren at Faux Real Tho, a great story:
Police hunt farting dissidentPolice in Poland have launched a nationwide hunt for a man who farted loudly when asked what he thought of the president.
Hubert Hoffman, 45, was charged with "contempt for the office of the head of state" for his actions after he was stopped by police in a routine check at a Warsaw railway station.
He complained that under President Lech Kaczynski and his twin brother Jaroslaw, the country was returning to a Communist style dictatorship.
When told to show more respect for the country's rulers, he farted loudly and was promptly arrested.
Well, great except for the whole being arrested part. But I suppose there are worse ways to get yourself thrown in jail and/or labeled an enemy combatant.
Vote Early, Vote Often
Vote for Bobby Boswell for Cosmopolitan's bachelor of the year.
It's a rather stupid contest, true, and his contest video (links found here) is dorky. But Bobby doesn't get paid that much - only $29,400! and the prize is $15,000. So let's help him out.
October 3, 2006
Google Earth and Sunbathers
Okay, this is funny. I suppose if you think about it, it should come as no surprise that satellite cameras would catch people sunbathing topless, and that as a consequence they would appear in Google Earth but... it's still funny.
This is via Google Sightseeing, which is a cool site. Here are some stadiums, and there's lots of other stuff, too.
September 13, 2006
Cool as a grape slushie!
So I was hanging out at the Screaming Eagles tailgate with D of DCenters and a bunch of his friends, whom he'd just introduced me to. And I notice this guy with the most INCREDIBLE completely amazingly dreamy eyes. He is talking to an authoritative woman with brown hair. I mean this guy is HOT. Since D has already been gracious enough to introduce me to people, I think, Gee, I wonder if any of these folks know that guy? Maybe I'll get introduced to him later. Then I look around to see if I can see any other interesting people. My hearing isn't always the greatest, and I was distracted by said people-watching while D and a couple of other guys were having this conversation, off quietly to the side. (That, or he's making it up, but D would never do that. Right, D?)
Dave walks over to me. "You know who that is, right?""Who? That guy?"
"Yeah, that's Bobby Boswell."
I stifle the urge to reenact a Jack Benny spit-take. "No shit, hey, you're right." It's a slightly awkward feeling, since a few minutes before I told Joanna of my plans to pick up a Boswell replica jersey when we head into RFK. Very close to the kind of fanboy behavior that invites William Shatner to ask about whether or not I am currently in posession of, as they say, a life. No, the important thing now is to just be cool about the entire thing. I turn to my drinking buddy who hasn't overheard the conversation with Dave. "Hey, it's Boswell over there." He picks up on the studied non-chalance, barely raising his eyebrows in response.
"Is it? Cool." There's a pause as we are earnestly aware of how forced the casual tone of conversation has become. "You know, I woke up with Heather Mitts in bed this morning..." Complete deadpan. A nice escalation of the mood.
"You too?" I offer.
"Who hasn't?" adds Dave, safely out of earshot of his girlfriend.
I can't be rude and stare at other people and not listen to the conversation that is going on right next to me, though. I turn back to D just in time to hear:
Still, now I've been challenged. It's important to establish alpha-male ultimate coolness at this point. "So, um... Jesus Christ came over this morning. Wanted to borrow a cup of sugar. I told him this was the last time..."
I'm a little confused, but I had some of that blue stuff which has vodka in it, so this is still a funny remark. I laugh. D seems to catch on to my confusion because he says something about Bobby Boswell. At first I assume he's still talking about going to get that jersey, but he points. I look. "That's him, right over there."
"HIM?! That guy?" I'm stunned! Because while Boz is cute enough in his photographs...
...they just don't really bring across the extreme hotness that we were all blessed to witness there in person at the tailgate. I think this is because Bobby squints in a lot of his pictures.
So I tease D (while surreptitiously staring at Bobby Boswell) that he ought to just go ask Bobby for one of his shirts. Then he'd have a real one instead of a replica, AND save money. "No!" D says. "I'm not going to be That Guy."
"I know what you mean," I say emphatically (while surreptitiously staring at Bobby Boswell). This response is a useful reminder that I had better not be That Girl either. Or else my new friends will think I am uncool and will not want to hang out with me at future tailgates. I'm on notice, so I'm careful (while surreptitiously staring at Bobby Boswell). It occurs to me that I could walk right up to Bobby, grin at him, and inform him that I'm lucky, and that if he kisses me, we'll win the game. I'm just tipsy enough to maybe pull this off without clamming up and standing there grinning mutely like a stupid idiot. And, with just a small bit of the luck I'd be claiming, I might be able to get him to kiss me on the cheek, which would make the thirteen-year-old in me happy for weeks. But I don't dare try this, because I've got to be cool.
August 7, 2006
Facts About Creigh Deeds
Via Waldo Jaquith we have this magnificent list of facts about Creigh Deeds, the Democratic candidate for attorney general who lost by only a handful of votes in 2005. Those not familiar with Virginia politics or with Creigh Deeds may not understand all the references, which is unfortunate, because this is the best list of facts about _____ ever. A sampling:
After Creigh Deeds was elected to the Senate, the spirit of FDR edited his famous quote to read “The only thing we have to fear is the Senator from Bath himself.”Creigh Deeds didn’t run against Bob McDonnell for the attorney general’s race in 2005. He coughed. But the awesome spew of legislative speak that emerged from his mouth nearly got him elected anyway.
Creigh Deeds can tame Tim Kaine's eyebrow.
Creigh Deeds will build the Metro tunnel under Tyson's, using only the teeth of Mark Warner.
Creigh Deeds headbutted Zinedine Zidane, shattering him instantly.
Creigh Deeds let the dogs out.
